What to say after months away from the key board again.
I guess you could say it’s been an interesting couple of months. There’s been a landslide of brilliant things that have happened. I’ve shared some incredible memories with the love of my life. I’ve sustained another life for five years as of the beginning of this month. Said life I am referring to is my lovely dog, who by the way has seen me at my absolute worst more times than I can count. However, in the midst of all of the greatness, I’ve yet again found a heaviness in my heart. Everyone says “life is too short.” It’s too short to feel the sorrow that I feel. It’s too short to dwell on what you can’t control. It’s just too short. Unfortunately, that’s not true. Life is too short to not feel what you’re feeling. It’s too short to ignore your heart and it sure as hell is too short to minimize your own thoughts. The difference that’s important isn’t that you push off the sadness or you push off the hurt. It’s that you recognize that it, like everything in life, is simply temporary. The hurt in your heart is temporary. The shitty job is temporary. The pain in your chest is temporary. The headache that floods your mind is temporary. This moment of weakness is temporary.
You see, you don’t get to become a warrior by simply surviving in a world of difficulties and challenges. You become a warrior by crawling through the days you don’t know how to survive. You become a warrior by pushing yourself and screaming when nothing wants to come out. You get to be a warrior by advocating for your own happiness and rising to any occasion, no matter how daunting. Life has never been about letting go of your fears and feelings. It’s been about accepting them- accepting you, for everything you are. In every moment. Embrace the mess. Embrace the life that lives inside of every painful memory. Embrace the strength that exists in the hurting heart, and embrace the lesson that is in every thought.
Life might be short but it’s not about that, it’s about the shortness of patience that we all have with ourselves. The ignorance of our own incredible attributes. It’s the anger we share with ourselves when we “aren’t being good enough” and it’s the gut wrenching feeling we get when the world outside reinforces that negativity.
At the end of the day, I guess what I’m saying is that we don’t have control over the length of life. We don’t have the power to control the outside world, but we do have control of our inner love and we do have control over how we interact with our own minds. You’re worth it. You’re worth the patience. You’re worth the empathy. You’re worth the love that you forgot to give yourself on occasion. You are worth acceptance. You deserve that- and if for whatever reason, you can’t get that from the people outside of yourself, then the least you can do it be accepting of you.
There’s no one like you. There’s no one that can be you. You’re unique. You’re special. You’re beautiful. You are worth it.
You always have been.
My name is Morgan and I have a passion for writing, just as I have a passion for supporting those that suffer from various mental health concerns. I fully believe that each day is brand new and we can do with it as we wish. Mental illness is crippling, and you may lose the battle but that does not mean that you will lose the war. Keep fighting and know that you are not, and never will be, alone.